Tag Archives: humor

Bug

I AM A BUG

BugHello folks ! Today I am going to tell you a story of three friends …. Yes you guessed it right, one of them is me . All three of us were a gang of notorious beings – blocking a code here, hiding a window there, disabling a button for the poor user or crashing the application a few times ! But we were living happily in our world until came in the big monster ‘The Tester’. Oh what a sweet fellow to begin with. He entered out territory with a gentle smile, its only later did we realize that he captured every corner of our house. He specially looked for the crevices and deep holes. God ! …. how difficult our survival became. Every morning when he came, we tried to hide ourselves and pray for the evening to come so that he would leave for the day. But how long could we, the tiny creatures survive this big bad monster and one day the inevitable happened and our lives changed forever.

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Peer pressure vs beer pressure

Much has been written about the effects of peer pressure – both beneficial and harmful. The nadir of peer pressure was of course depicted by Chatur (Silencer) in the movie “3 Idiots” – a case of constant comparison and competition. Unfortunately, not enough research has been conducted on beer pressure – the pressure felt subsequent to beer intake. This has caused a large leaking hole in our body of knowledge on these two types of pressure, leaving youth of the world clueless about which pressure to adopt.Let us compare these two so that we may choose between them as informed adults. I strongly feel beer pressure is the right pressure, and my fair and unbiased arguments will hopefully prove the same.

The Big Fight

1. Peer pressure leads to fear, beer pressure leads to cheer
Constant comparison causes anxiety and fear of various kinds to build up inside individuals. This anxiety can affect the quality of life and work of even the most saintly person. On the other hand, beer pressure results in instant and all-forgiving, all-forgetting cheer that warms up the soul and fires up the mind.

2. Peer pressure causes bottling up, beer pressure results from un-bottling
Those who choose peer pressure are always looking over their shoulder to look at who is drawing close, as if the race can have only one winner. Bottled emotions cause scarred lives and incomplete human beings. The very first act in beer pressure, on the other hand, is un-bottling, a magnificent celebration of the release of human potential.

3. Peer pressure causes loneliness, beer pressure causes belonging
When you choose peer pressure, you are alone – every friend is a peer is an enemy. When you undergo beer pressure, you know you have a purpose, a mission, and you belong to a worldwide movement called “No Bottle Left Unopened” – all in it together.

4. Peer pressure is a complex path, beer pressure is a simple path
Complex is the person who cannot get away from comparison. Peer pressure takes you down a complicated path built out of competition and deceit, slyness and jealousy, envy and hatred. Beer pressure generally creates for you a straight and simple path, generally to the nearest washroom.

5. Peer pressure makes you mad, beer pressure makes you glad
Peer pressure = can’t get badder
Beer pressure = gladder in the bladder
Mathematical justice for poetic art.

6. Peer pressure implies hierarchy, beer pressure means equality
Comparison inevitably assumes that there is an underlying hierarchy of superiority and inferiority, of humans stacked on an unequal ladder. Beer pressure assumes nothing and believes in fundamental equality of humankind. You build an equal world glass by glass.

7. Peer pressure is measured in numbers, beer pressure is measured in decibels
Peer pressure is based on comparison of numbers. Exam scores, weights lifted, goals scored. Numbers don’t have personality. Numbers are drab. Numbers are black and white. Decibels, on the other hand, are colorful. Beer pressure is measured in decibels. Decibels come in flamboyant red and flaming orange and fantastic indigo and fabulous turquoise and f… perhaps we should stop here.

8. Peer pressure kills, beer pressure fills
No explanation required.

9. Peer pressure is free, beer pressure costs money
True. But free things are not necessarily good things. And beer pressure does invariably cause free speech, so there.

10. Peer pressure is driven by expectation, beer pressure is driven by desire
You truly shine when the person inside you can come out and shine. Peer pressure hides your true self, since you act as peers cause you to act. Your life is driven by others, from outside. When you enjoy beer pressure, your life is driven by you, from inside. That is when you truly shine.

11. Peer pressure means a small view of life, beer pressure encompasses the universe
Restricting our world view to our immediate others – our peers – is such a limited view of this wonderful world we live in. Break those barriers. Adopt beer pressure and you will feel at one with the universe – vasudeva kutumbakkan – which may someday lead to world peace. It is our duty to try.

12. Peer pressure elevates performance, beer pressure elevates
There is an argument that peer pressure can also be healthy competition while beer pressure is unhealthy consumption. I agree that peer pressure can elevate performance under the right laboratory conditions. However, my learned friends forget that beer pressure elevates – period. Doesn’t matter what – performance, life, friends, family, memory, mood, work – beer pressure elevates all. Indeed, there are frequent instances of elevation leading further to levitation.

And the winner is…

Evaluating with a fair mind the dozen arguments presented above, it is crystal-clear that beer pressure wins over peer pressure. Peer pressure needs to be banned and banished, and a movement has to begin for beer pressure to be made mandatory.

Some readers will oppose this conclusion even after agreeing with above arguments – submitting unconsciously to the very peer pressure they need to oppose. However, please understand the simple significance of this matter. The future of world history depends on what we do today. Let us build a culture that wipes out peer pressure in favor of beer pressure.

Relevance to Software and IT Industry

Leaders and managers in software companies especially, have to build maturity and responsibility in their software engineering teams with young people who have just been liberated from years of peer pressure. This is a tremendous challenge not to be taken lightly even slightly. There is no better path to this goal than beer pressure. The way to build team spirit is to do it with spirit.

I hope all leaders recognize the dangers of peer pressure, and promise not to use peer pressure to create differences among people in pursuit of “better performance”. Instead, use beer pressure to bind people together. Performance is science, togetherness is magic.

 

Peer pressure is for losers. Peer pressure is un-cool. Cool is the person who is incomparable, for s/he is peerless. Be yourself.

Down with peer pressure. Hail beer pressure.
Cheers 😉

Author – Chinmoy Panda